» The Value of Education, or: Why It Sometimes Pays Not to Be An Asshole

The Value of Education, or: Why It Sometimes Pays Not to Be An Asshole

I have noticed a disturbing trend in the WoW community. Am I slow on the uptake? Maybe. Is this going to sound utterly hilarious coming from me? Well, yeah.

We live and instance in a gogogo culture where anybody that isn’t at the top of their game is left in the dust and so is anybody that does things differently than what Elitist Jerks imposes upon the population (WoW.com’s Jerkerati, anyone?) – experimentation is frowned upon and honest-to-Djehuty (The Scribe seems appropriate here) newbies and clueless types are promptly chewed up and spit out.

WoW players eat their own. All gamers do.

It’s not always the right thing to do.

The Asshole Mentality

With the relative anonymity of the new LFG tool, everyone is pretty much encouraged to be an asshole. Groups that would otherwise consider themselves to be a bastion of helpfulness are reduced to packs of snarling dogs when faced with things that don’t quite match their idea of how a dungeon should go.

Often, it’s justified. Just as often, however, it is not.

Myth: At 80, Everyone Will Know the Ins and Outs of Their Class

The majority of the Asshole Mentality stems from the above idea. Yes, most 80s should know their class. Most 80s should understand what gear they need and how to spec, but the fact is, not all of them do. Not every 80 had the support of a guild, group, or knowledgeable friend behind them. Not every 80 was able to understand what they were finding on Google, not every 80 is skilled at separating the grain from the chaff when it comes to dissecting what is good, current information and what isn’t. You hear about clueless DPS and healers all the time, and nobody seems to try to say, “Dude, you want some pointers?” When there’s a failure, people are more willing to jump up and say “You fucking suck, you noob, L2Play!” instead of “I think I know how we can handle this better.” Tanks are automatically screwed unless their HP is at 30,000 or higher (why do you think I wear both Brewfest stamina trinkets on my Death Knight?) and are often subject to the highest, most rage-inducing scrutiny. Guess what, folks? I can tank Heroic UK just fine at 25k-28k HP Unbuffed.

The community has this immediate need to jump somebody that doesn’t meet expectations and a lack of interest in at least offering to help somebody improve.

And we wonder why it’s so hard to find new tanks, good DPS and healers that know what they’re doing?

Fact: Nobody Appreciates Abuse

You know that saying about attracting flies with honey (or is it distracting evil piles of vomit with Fly Honey)? For the most part, it’s true.

I have heard all sides of this. I have heard, “Why bother trying to help when I just get yelled at?” “Nobody likes being told how to play.” “It’s not my job to teach people how to play their class.” “I don’t know everything about the game.”

Fine. That’s fine.

But that doesn’t mean you have to be an asshole if somebody, who is obviously new or completely clueless, doesn’t perform as expected.

I have been in parties at all level ranges where, when an individual was attacked for their performance, pretty much 100% of the time the person lashed out right back at whoever gave them hell. I have been the person that wasn’t performing well and, as soon as I said, “Gimme a break, I haven’t played this toon in forever” or “Well, that’s why I’m running heroics – to get emblems and gear so I won’t suck”, I was left alone. In groups where it was some poor sod against the rest of the group, as soon as I – usually the tank or healer – piped up with, “Dude, it’s okay, we all have to start somewhere. Why don’t you try x, y, z instead?” or “Here’s why what happened Is Not Cool but we will deal because these things happened” … things cooled down.

Being level-headed and not an asshole gets shit done.

The attitude of “it’s not my job to teach” is just as bad as the general assholery. If everyone adopted that frame of mind, can you imagine how shitty the gaming experience would be? I’d still be a fail!hunter. I’d still… well, I’d fail at this game in general because no amount of research makes up for hands-on learning. Something that I was taught as early as High School is that different people have different styles of learning. Some can adapt from reading websites and guides like WoW.com, Elitist Windbags/Jerks and various blogs. Some need to watch videos and see it in action. Others need to be coached in-game. Requiring a different learning style does not make somebody flawed or inferior, it just means that they process information differently.

And that’s okay.

Besides, it does not take much time out of your run to suggest a different approach to a boss, a different set of skills to use, or for a party member to check out a certain blog that’s been suggested to you by a friend or an online community. So, it’s not like you have to write up a lesson plan and teach these people their class from the ground up.

Matojo’s Point

It’s okay to be an asshole in a case of genuine asshattery or stupidity that isn’t caused by somebody being unfamiliar with how things work (such as mages that pull, tanks that refuse to allow drink breaks, etc), but when dealing with somebody that’s brand new or just utterly clueless who most likely needs a helping hand – not cool. If the Newbie turns out to be an asshat in disguise, by all means, fire the cannons.

Remember: People can hit 80 and start into heroics without having any bloody idea of how to play. How else would we have level 80 Mages doing 400DPS, even in quest greens?

Looking For Asshats/Group, Matojo is a Snarky Bitch, RAGE, WHARRGARBL | admin | March 2, 2010 4:00 pm

10 Comments

By Kaphik, March 2, 2010 @ 4:22 pm

<3!

This seems to be the general topic of discussion lately. The problem, however, doesn't solely lie with people who are berating those who are doing a poor job.

A lot of people get highly offended when someone offers them pointers. Hell, I have seen this reaction FROM PEOPLE I KNOW in the game! All sorts of bruised egos are abound when someone DARES to try and help someone else play better.

This mentality is totally alien to me. Why do I play games? I play to win, and for the joy of competition. If I lose a good game, it's still fun, because now I'm trying to figure out how to win. I think a big problem stems from the fact that most people don't think of online games as a team sport.

I'm sure a lot of people have played some sort of team sport while growing up, whether it was baseball, soccer, heck even cheerleading or the chess team! The goal was to get everyone to work together, and for each team member to motivate and elevate the game of his or her teammates. That attitude, the desire to work WITH others instead of against them, is becoming extinct in WoW.

So sad.
By Roshanar, March 2, 2010 @ 5:42 pm

Ayup. Well written and thought out, and speaks to many of the behaviors I’ve seen and have gotten on my nerves.
By Askevar, March 2, 2010 @ 9:14 pm

Myth: All DK Tanks Suck and Must be treated as such.

It’s sad when my 50k health, ICC geared, DK tank can leave ICC25 after just downing Saurfang, pop into a random and be treated like crap simply because “OMG it’s a DK tank, they all suck and know nothing so I’d better pull 9 groups for them, without using misdirect and whine when I die because they don’t snap aggro on everything going everywhere.” I refuse to queue as tank on my DK any longer. Every time I do, either via bad luck or whatnot, I get treated like crap.

Then I hop over to my 25k health warrior tank and go through several randoms with nary a problem because “awww… it’s a cute wittle warrior tank… must be nice cuz they’re so cute” [male nelf warrior... so eh]

The amount of sheer stupidity/asshatery/etc that could be avoided by simply kind words or a little patience is becoming mind-boggling.
By Jisne, March 3, 2010 @ 2:09 am

Pretty much. There’s a reason that I ditched my warrior tank pretty quick… the asshole thing makes it so I can’t even get any enjoyment out of it. Alas.

Also, since my email didn’t go through, it’s Jisne from the WRA forums. You told me to get hold of you.
By admin, March 3, 2010 @ 8:45 am

@Rosh: Thank you! I’ve stomped on a bit of it myself, as you can tell. I have a rep for being a bit of a jerk, but honestly? It’s very rare that it hasn’t been justified.

@Askevar: It’s sad, but, I’ve actually had somebody tell me that I was the ONLY DK tank they’d ever called “good”. This makes me sad for our class, that there are enough that suck at it to influence the overall opinion of the class.

@Jisne: Ack! I replied to your e-mail, I’m just very slow at checking the account. Sorry about that! I do hope LFG’s collective attitude changes, at least a little, because it’s really unfortunate that so many are discouraged from doing things due to asshats.
By Askevar, March 3, 2010 @ 9:52 am

In running with a mostly guildie group [3-4 guildies], you have no idea how many times the a dps has thanked us for not kicking him because he’s still in blues. The fact that they feel the need to thank us for that, is just sad.
By Niainde, March 3, 2010 @ 11:28 am

(1) We love DK tanks. One of our two raid tanks is a DK and he is the best thing since guacamole. A skilled DK tank can be a thing of beauty. The problem is, yeah, all of the under- or un-educated DKs out there giving y’all a bad rap, which is a function of the sheer popularity of the class, I think. As a hunter, I feel that pain. Sorry.

(2) Good post. Just last week one of my raiders was eye-rolling and sighing loudly in our OOC channel about how “bad” his random heroic tank was. His only real complaint, though, as to what made the bloke “bad” was, “Well, he’s just not very good.” Look, man: if the badguys are dying, and you are not, then the tank is doing okay. That is my 5-man rule in general: if the badguys are dying and the party is not, the DPS is doing fine. The tank is doing fine. The healer is doing fine. 5-mans are where most people have to go to *learn* or refine their endgame skills, just like you did when you were a baby 80. If you have constructive advice to offer, offer it, if you do not, then STFU and mind your own job.

It makes me sad too because so many new 80s are clearly taking it to heart and feeling bad when they should not. I ran an HFoS two days ago with a ret paladin who kept APOLOGIZING to the group that he was not breaking 4K DPS. Not the first such incident, either. People start feeling subpar and self-conscious when no one bothers to point out that, you know, they probably aren’t going to pull the same numbers as the ICC-geared dps, and that’s fine. We aren’t going to drag them out back and shoot them.

My husband plays a pretty swell warrior tank as one of his alts, and when he was a newly dinged 80 and popped into his very first random heroic all raring to go, they inspected his gear, saw blue, and kicked him. Welcome to level 80, I guess.
By Niainde, March 3, 2010 @ 11:28 am

Holy long comment, Batman. >_>
By sirfwalgman, March 9, 2010 @ 3:18 pm

I think it is even WORSE than that. I read a few things today and have had experiences that are incredible. Like running UK. Healer gets frost tombed and NOBODY BREAKS HER OUT?!?!?! I know with 80′s and having incredible gear this might work but 68-74′s??!? The tank then yells that the DPS are not putting out enough. No the problem is everyone expects to faceroll everything since their 80′s can. Morons.

Another blogger was writing about a failed raid because people could not take the time to communicate and explain strats.

It’s not only GOGOGOGOGO it’s just faceroll some buttons and if we lose then everyone sucks.