» Tool of the Day: It’s a Cornucopia of Fuckery

Tool of the Day: It’s a Cornucopia of Fuckery

Back at'cha, Princess(es).

To be quite honest, I have lots of material – mostly from LFG – for Tools for this week. I mean, lots. I’ve been leveling my Gnome Warrior over on Zul’jin for most of the weekend, so a new battle group means new stupids (but new awesome people and I need to know what a good title for “Awesome Dudes of the Day/Week/Month” is), especially from the perspective of a tank.

I mean, not to say DPS and healers don’t experience fuckery – we do. Oh Gods, we do. Hello, DK tank that rides the threat meters just slightly above a Frost Mage whose only good aspect is that she’s at the hit cap.

This, however, is a completely different kettle of fish.

The Love is in the Air event has added an instance achievement that we’re all familiar with but that I really didn’t experience first-hand (because this? It isn’t the first of its kind) until this year. Prince Keleseth, as well as two other bosses, drops one of two bouquets – Ebon and Red, or something – and the bouquet is part of the meta achievement that goes toward the title and the drake. However, this isn’t the part that’s the problem.

It’s the fucking level 80s that queue into the regular version of the instance and then drop once (if) they win the bouquet.

I am, inevitably, the tank on these runs (because the two toons I’ve been running through this content are tanks, a Feral druid and a Frost Dual Wield Death Knight) and they have both been Retribution Paladins, so I wind up fighting them on the threat meters the entire time they’re in group until I think, “Fuck it, I’m not taunting off him, I’m level 70/72 and he’s fucking 80 and in Tier gear.” Then we hit Kel, Kel drops, so does the bouquet and… poof, dude drops group.

What the hell, man.

You queued up with us lowbies, you made us fight your aggro and now you leave us one member short in an at-level instance whose boss fights are a bitch if you’re lacking in DPS. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

You, achievement-chasing serial group-dropping fuckwits, are the Tools of the Day. Sit on an Armadillo and spin.

At least, when my Death Knight goes chasing this achievement, he’s going in all his defense-capped glory as a tank and I’m stickin’ out the entire thing, because that’s the non-dickish thing to do.

FAIL, RAGE, Tool Box, WHARRGARBL | admin | February 16, 2010 3:44 pm

3 Comments

By Kaethir, February 16, 2010 @ 4:05 pm

RAWRRRGARBL!!
By admin, February 16, 2010 @ 4:07 pm

*Matojo maeks poast*
*intertubes is overcome by RAWRRRGARBLE*
*a thousand voices cry out and are suddenly silenced*
*a puppy is kicked*
*Matojo is appeased for the time being*
By Tam, February 17, 2010 @ 5:04 am

I heart the phrase ‘Cornucopia of Fuckery’

To be honest, there’s *no reason* for an 80 to inflict their achi whoring on levelling folks trying to do the instance. You can pretty much solo it… especially if you’re a plate-wearing aggro-monkey.